Constantly Striving for a Better Relationship

vintage coupleFor those of you who are familiar with the Myer-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), I’m the INFJ. In the area of relationships, this type is often described as a perfectionist who is “constantly striving to achieve the Perfect Relationship. This can sometimes be frustrating to their mates, who may feel put upon by the INFJs demanding perfectionism. However, it may also be greatly appreciated, because it indicates a sincere commitment to the relationship, and a depth of caring which is not usually present in other types.”

I rarely see this quality as a weakness since I believe one of the main goals in life should be to grow and continually find ways of improving ourselves throughout the entire lifespan. I can tell you my weaknesses in a heartbeat, and it’s not necessarily because I’m overly critical or negative. I just know what I could work on to become closer to my ideal self. Even though I’m already in a good relationship, I also know what my partner and I could work on to make it an even more solid one.

The first step for a better relationship is good communication, so here’s one idea for those of you who are interested in building a better, closer relationship. Both you and your partner compose a list of maybe 10 characteristics (or however many you want) that you think a romantic partner should ideally possess. Determine whether or not your partner is fulfilling those expectations. Be sure to focus on what your partner is doing well as well as what areas need improvement. Share your evaluations with each other. You should both stay committed to working on some of your weaknesses, as long as it’s realistic and benefits the both of you. I’d recommend doing these evaluations many times throughout the relationship since perfection can never be attained.